whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
do herpes really smell.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
