I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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