i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
