I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
