Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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