i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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