no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
