420 ftw
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
