heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
