batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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