Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We got so high we made milksteak
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
