Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
