whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
