pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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