Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Watching her eat just hurts me
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
