I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
