Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
