Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
