sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
