I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I think i peed on brittanys purse
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
