I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
