to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
