oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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