Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
