I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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