Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It was like getting head from an anaconda
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
