Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
