tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
