She's JV to your varsity
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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