does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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