Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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