I can tuck mytits in my pants
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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