conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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