Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
