on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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