Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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