apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Boobs speak an international language.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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