look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
