when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
