Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
