Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
