We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
