i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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