hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
