New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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