I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
