Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
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