Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
