I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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