Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
