So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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