i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Your penis caused this!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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