I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
