I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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