drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
