Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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