Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
